Girls overanalyze. I know we overanalyze. But how is it that small things like an MSN name change can hurt so much?

Finally! Spring is here, the sun is shining ,the birds are chirping and I have been noticing some of my classmates getting awfully friendly with each other... hm... =) I really think that spring should be the time when we all make New Year's resolutions. After all, if you resolve to start going to the gym in the middle of winter: you can't run outside because your ears might fall off, by the time your work/schoolday is done it's been dark for 2 hours and you gotta trudge through the muck all the way to the gym, there's crap all over the floor of the changeroom and it's just too easy to come up with billions of reasons NOT to work out. If however you make this resolution in the spring time, you stand a decent chance of being unable to make excuses for yourself.

Only 5 more weeks of class and soon the crunch will come - pulmonary exam's first, then a PHELO exam when I've managed to avoid half of my classes and all of my small group sessions, an anatomy bellringer, two clinical exams, and lastly a renal exam. The end is so near and yet so far.

The only thing that UA has over Queen's is the ability to come home for long weekends. Or go to Toronto =) That'd be nice too...

Everytime I come home I'm amazed at how many new faces there are. I was talking to a fellow expat and she said that after a 4 yr. absence, she returned to find that she only knew half the people in her home fellowship and that someone on the visitation team sat with her to make sure that she would feel welcome at a church she had been attending for years. Nothing has made me feel more inconsequential then realizing how quickly you can not belong.

Some days I amaze myself with my own selfishness. I see myself in triplicate. Objectively, marvelling at my ability to think about only me and being completely disgusted with myself. At the same time, I'm me with my own opinions and circumstances, not being able to see beyond the way I feel. And then I'm the other person seeing me, trying to win me over to another point of view, trying to be patient with me as I muddle through my own egocentric world.

I want to go home. This just hasn't been a good week. It hasn't been a bad week either. It's just been a blah, good-for-nothing, biding my time until this year is over kind of week.

ugh...light of any kind giving me pounding headaches...tylenol doing nothing...

Yet another episode of the Amazing Race.

Boston Rob and Amber - My sister firmly belives that Boston Rob is a yokel, and I gotta say he doesn't come off as being overly bright but every week his wily ways manage to impress me. Though I have a feeling there are some yields coming up in their future.

Bianca and Debbie - I didn't like these two from the start but I'll admit, they have balls. That girl devoured 4 lbs. of meat and ate her way into becoming my new gastronomic hero.

Sorry for the lack of postage. Cardiology is over and done with, too bad because I really enjoyed it. Often, I think all of the things that I could do had I been born a boy. Yup that's right, I have penis envy =) Haha, but not in the way that you would think. There are just times when I think that boys have so much more freedom in this world - they can pursue their careers, choose their paths with less thought about when or how they're going to have a family. Guys don't think about having to go on maternity leave and how that's going to affect them during their residency, they don't think about being on their feet all day doing rounds when they might be 8 months pregnant, they don't think about how their baby might be born with birth defects because they waited until they were 30 to have a child. I'm not saying that I resent all these things, I don't. I do want to get married, keep a nice house, make my own jams and preserves, grown my own herbs and raise my kids - just some days I think about the career I'm giving up to have these things. It doesn't go quite as far as being a regret (how can you regret something you haven't done yet?), it's just a shadow.

Hey guys, the next few shots are from Saturday's Formal. Enjoy! 

Myself with Yeng (who amazed us all with her Indian dancing) 

Enjoying ultra-yummy (and overpriced) dinner 

Part of the great wall of China...  

Our Medformal table (lucky # 13). The segregation of the sexes happened purely by chance. 

Because I should be studying for my upcoming Cardio exam, I was blog-surfing. If you guys have some time, definitely check out http://ihatemyflatmate.blogspot.com

This is not in any way a jab at any of my housemates, past or present. I just find it hysterical and probably one of the better forms of therapy, catharsis and sublimation all in one, turning your anger into art etc. This being said, I know I've done my share of evil housemate things and have always done my best to stop once I knew it was an issue (despite what some might say).

So I woke up nice and early to learn how to scrub-in today. First a normal hand wash with soap, then out comes the nail pick, then the iodine sponge and it's 20 secs for the top of the nails, all 4 sides of each finger, the back of the hand, the palms, and the arms up to the elbow. You can't touch the sinks or you start all over again. I half-scalded myself because I didn't realize there were two foot pedals, one for hot and one for cold water and I was only stepping on the hot. You have to rinse off a certain way. Once you're scrubbed in, you get to make your way into the operating room and a scrub nurse will basically dress you. You walk right into your surgical gown, they tie it for you, they hold your gloves upon for you, they hold out the side panel on your surgical gown and you basically twirl your way into it and then tie it shut. No jewelry, no watches, add a hairnet, mask, booties, eye protection. It's quite the ordeal.

But at the same time there's a sense of ceremony about it. Like Scarlett O'Hara getting dressed. Like how the Japanese drink tea. Like a dance between the immaculately scrubbed but clueless medical student and the wise, experienced scrub nurse/attendant.

Ahha.

Yet another Amazing Race, this time we're up to number 7, but it's still the only reality TV show I'm willing to watch. Not just watch - set aside time for, rearrange my study time for, kick a significant other off of the phone for =)

For starters:

• I love the euphemisms that people will come up with when they can't swear because it's national TV. Never would I have dreamed that people use the expressions 'Holy Canoley' and 'Doggone It' in real life. It's like the Archie comics and 'Egad', you're used to seeing it in print but somehow when you say it outloud it just doesn't cut it.
• I'm quite disappointed that the hillbillies were the first ones off, they brought a touch of humor to the show.
• Bianca and Debbie - tres snarky and previous Amazing Races have shown that you should beware of karma.
• Alex and Lynn - I adore these two. Like Nathan Lane in "The Birdcage", only he was acting.

Yawn. Dezzie has 7AM OR orientation tomorrow! The first painful step towards a 12 hr. plastic surgery elective!

A horribly blah mood has descended upon me. Don't feel like studying, don't feel like going to class, don't feel like anything. We're so close to the end of the school year and so far.