Day 2 of clerkship:

A little easier to wake up. Today we started doing some 'hands-on' stuff:

1) Aseptic technique. No big deal. Dressing changes, putting on sterile gloves, maintaining a sterile field etc. All stuff we've done before

2) Injections. Yay! Something new. But still not very difficult. We got to practice on each other and I barely felt it.

3) NG tubes. Definitely this station was the one which was causing me the most stress going in. Imagine a good metre of thick plasting tubing, coated in lubricant, being pushed in through your nose and then down your throat. The second it hits the back of your nose and you start to gag, it's like the whole thing's on fire. It's just searing pain. Never again...

4) ABGs. The thought of this one freaked me out, but after the NG tubes, nothing seemed as bad anymore. It was probably easier than IVs or phlebotomy because the second you hit the artery, you just hold the needle in place and it'll fill on its own. If even I can get it on my first try, you know it can't be that difficult =)

That's it. More hands-on stuff tomorrow but nothing as bad as today. At least it's over and done with.

Day 1 of clerkship:

Earliest I've had to wake up in a while! Coffee, my friend.
Great to see everyone again.

We get pagers, yay! They quickly become annoying as anyone starts experimenting with different ring tones.

Introduction - overwhelmed at how the steep the learning curve will be.

Talking to friends during break - overwhelemed with how much there is to study before my first rotation

Lunch - inhale a sandwich, run to the bookstore but they're out of coursepacks, go steal a pop from the first years BBQ

Intro to Radiology - snore

Intro to the core rotations - psych, hysterical. all other rotations, PANIC!

Come home after 8 hours - feet hurt, shouldn't have worn heels today. tired, brain numb. don't want to cook dinner. where is my squishy to feed me? realization that i would be screwed were i ever entirely on my own. luckily my mother has enough sense to pack me frozen pizzas. must eat, must distract brain from impending panic by watching s'more 24. will tackle work later...

It's been a while, I know.

I've tried to post a few times this summer, but either couldn't find words or didn't take the time. I'm in the process of working my way through Trudy's thesis (almost 2 hours for the first section alone!) and if I could sum up all of her work in a word it would be 'decorum', the matching of outward appearances with inward reality. (Tru, I know I'm not doing you any kind of justice here but we can't all be English majors =)

If anything, my summer has been the exact opposite: everything about me on the outside is so similar to what it was 3 months ago. But there are intangible differences. So slight, but the kind of differences that make you realize that without wanting to, you're becoming an adult. Slowly and probably belatedly, but undoubtedly. A change in attitude, subtle changes in relationships, the re-definition of words.

School will start in a week or so. It'll get hectic. I'll probably be tired and stressed and won't come anywhere near anything approaching a philosophical or abstract thought. I'll blog about funny patient stories or the quality of my daily coffee. During the year, I'm that kind of person. But the luxury of summer is being able to write a post like this every once in a while.