"2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to "

-Anna Nalick, 2AM

Actually it is just about 2AM. And I should most definitely be in bed because I need to be up at 6ish tomorrow. I don't know who on Earth thought that rural would be easy. It's not. These doctors work and work and work and work. My preceptor is regularly in the OR by 7, then doing clinic all day until past 6 in the evening, quick dinner then he'll do a labor induction, hang around and then do the epidural, run home and peek in on his kids and come back at 1 in the morning and deliver the baby. And I have to be right there beside him.

Most days I stand in awe of these superhuman docs. But not enough that I would want to BE one of them. No matter how rewarding it is delivering your own obstetrics patients AND doing your own epidurals AND doing anesthesia for all the surgeons AND running a GP clinic, how could you stand not seeing your family half the nights in a week? For one week, maybe. A month would be tough. Never would I choose to permanently shape my practice in this manner.

Our delivery tonight went quickly but she tore BAD. Which is probably why I'm awake right now ruminating.

Labels: Medical stuff